there was a time when the thought of being alone was the most terrifying thing.
there was a time when I thought that was impossible. i was incapable.
its possible. im more capable than i expected. it is still terrifying.
im so used to being alone, now the thought of having someone else is just as scary.
i dont like unwanted change. i dont like being blindsided. i dont like that when i do something one time, everything else falls off its tracks. and i no longer have a path. i dont like feeling as though i am under a microscope, being watched as they wait for me to fuck up. but i havent done anything wrong. i am not a perfect person. im not even the best that i can be. i am who i am. it may never be enough. but its all i have.
its rare for someone to stick around for more than a year.
i learned how to make a paper crane.
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